I Push People Away

When ever anyone admits to having any sort of feelings for me I always end up pushing them away. It's this automatic response thing I have. My blinders go off and I be little them until any feelings they have are squashed. It's horrible.

What is it that attracts people to us. What makes someone like you? It seems like it's a bit of everything. Like a bunch of things that can't always be pointed out.

Part of me wants the cheesy love that's so overly romantic and wonderful while the other half knows how reality works and just wants to survive another day.

"I push people away who start to love me because I know that if they stopped loving me, it would kill me"

“I wish I was half as good at keeping people around as I am at pushing them away.”


Sometimes I just wish I could find my Jack. Find my miss pieces and never let go.

Don't Have To Be Scared At All

Listening to Fall by Justin Bieber and it got me thinking. I'm still in love with the same person that I was over a year ago. I still feel strong for that person. I still wish more than anything that things turned out different but they didn't. I used to be so bothered by that. Bothered by the fact that my heart was attached to something that wasn't ever going to return it. It doesn't bother me anymore.

It scared me to feel something that strong. Now it just feels normal. It feels real. I've never felt more alive. The heart takes time to heal and even if I'm still partially broken by it I'm okay with that. I've grown so much from all of the stuff that happened that it's okay. I'm honestly okay. For the moment anyway.

"you can't fly unless you let yourself fall"