I Charlotte am losing it as of now.

I think I'm falling for someone I shouldn't be. Everything about this person makes it impossible not to and I find myself constantly wondering what they are doing where they are and if they are thinking of me too. They are always on my mind and I just can't seem to get rid of them. It seems like it's been forever since we talked and it hurts and scares me. Everything about this person scares me. I just want to tell them how much I'm falling for them but I'm scared I'll push them away.

I Don't Know Who I Am, When You're Running Circles In My Head

I feel like a lost puppy right now. It so incredibly stupid. I miss the times when I didn't like someone because I'm always the same when I do. I'm a different person entirely this time but still I miss it. Liking someone turns me into this lovesick puppy.

"I can't sleep, the pills they never help, try counting sheep still hurts like hell"

I don't like it one bit. I don't think lovesick me brings out the best in me. In fact it makes me crazy. I'm not saying I love this person because it is quite obvious that I don't. I'm just saying that it sucks liking someone even the littlest bit. It sucks talking to that person every day all day for over a week and then all of a sudden it's like once a day maybe and now it's to the point where we haven't spoken in almost a week. I mean when you know someone is busy and you accept it but you still hope they make a little effort after they told you they would sucks.

"wakin' up just breaks me down down, cuz every morning you are nowhere to be found nowhere to be found"

why is life so complicated

Last year my biggest concern was getting over heartbreak now my biggest concern is what's going to happen now that I like someone new. The moment everything changes it gets crazy and I'm experiencing that right now :(

I don't know anymore

When spend so much time talking to someone and then all of a sudden they move across the world and time changes make it difficult you begin to miss them. I never realized how much I liked this person until we hadn't talked for two days. I fall to hard and it's my downfall. This one has the potential to hurt me forever. I'm new to this. I'm new to these sort of feelings for this person and part of it scares me. I can't talk about to anyone because I don't know how it works. I don't know how they feel. We're both new to this whole thing and were testing the waters but I don't want it to fail. They are great. I can't believe I Charlotte am scared. Part of me thinks if I actually got the chance to commit to a relationship I wouldn't be able to handle it. That's kind of scary. I hope it doesn't fail but distance doesn't help. We went from being a hours apart to almost a world apart. How does that happen. They chose a path before I ever came into question and I don't know how to deal.

My Favorite Place.

My favorite place isn't London or Paris. My favorite place isn't famous at all. My favorite place is not open to public. My favorite place is almost my own. My favorite place can be quiet and calming. My favorite place is unlike the rest. No hustle or bustle. No city. No lights. My favorite place is the best in my mind. It's got grass. It's got trees. An island or two. A few wildlife and some fish in it too. My favorite place is just in my back yard. It's a walk away or a car away. It's beautiful in it's own way. It's got water,a bridge.

My favorite place was made with two hands. It's a pond filled with fish which my grandpa loved. I love it too more than any other place. Everytime I'm near it reminds me of him. It reminds me of days when I was young and a kid. Of days when I'd fish with him and have fun being a grandkid. It reminds me of fun and of days filled with laughter. It's apart of my heart and I'll cherish it forever.

Another Day

It's another day and I've thought about it again. The unspoken thing I always seem to think about. I couldn't though. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing it. One minute I can be fine and the next minute I'm practically ripping my hair out trying to keep it together. I have no in between anymore. Sometimes I wonder why I don't have the courage to go through with things but then I remember it's because I'm better than that.

I don't know

I'm still not sure who I am. I'm Charlotte and I'm 22. I should know exactly who I am. I've been having thoughts about things and I don't know why. I spend my days completely confused. It sucks.

Time changes between countries suck. Especially when it doesn't help what I'm feeling or the thoughts I'm thinking. I want to just let it all out here but I don't want to admit it anyone yet. Only one person knows my thoughts and they are sleeping while I'm awake. They live somewhere completely different than me.
:(

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Who I am

I'm so confused about who I am. I was always this person who knew who I was and it changed recently. I've been questioning myself and I'm scared of the answers. I'm scared of being hated. It sucks. I can't talk to anyone because I'm still confused and unsure. I hate it. My life isn't going how I planned. Then again I never had a plan. Music was just always my answer. I never knew why or how it just was. I was wrong about everything when it came to life. Hmmmm!?