She's like a hand that fits perfectly into mine. I call her my home. She's become one of the most important people in my life and I don't know I'd go without her. I've spent the last week halfway miserable because I felt like We were both being so distant with each other. I don't think I really took the time to step back and take a look at things and see that maybe we weren't being distant but maybe we were just both over the whole in one anothers face with love phase and more into focusing on the future. I think we both want a future that is together and I didn't take the time to remember that while I was miserable. This whole week I felt like I was losing the best thing that's ever happened to me. I felt like the one thing that was going right was going all wrong. I underestimate things way too much and never find the good either.

Here it is Friday and we talked for literally like a total of probably 30 minutes and it's already brought everything I loved in her right back to me. It's made me realize I shouldn't doubt everything because in the end it will all be okay we will be okay.

From like 2 weeks ago but it still makes me smile. 

I love her a little more each day.

I dont know if she knew I needed it or not but calling me this morning made going through this day a lot easier. She made me want to. I love it when she's in a good mood and I'm not because some of her good mood tends to spill onto me and all I do is laugh and feel content.

I don't think anyone can comprehend how she makes me feel. Even on days when I feel like I'm not goo enough I don't deserve her she manages to make me understand that she feels the same about me.

It's been almost 3 months and Im already scared to be without her.

I can't even explain it....

We had already said goodnight and I could have been sleeping but she calls me anyway. She didn't want anything but to say she woke up to use the bathroom and to say I love you. She makes me complete. She makes me so unbelievably happy.

Collection of things I loved about her enough to capture.

I look at those things when I can't sleep at night, when I'm feeling down, or when I miss her. Those things get me through the day. The middle is how many miles/hours it is to her. Keeping that in mind the fact that I will soon see her is exactly what makes life worth living. The little moments where she tells me to hush when I say I am not cute to the moments where she wants me to stay on the phone with her while she sleeps. I live for these moments. It may be 6 hours and 12 minutes. 364 miles but it's nothing for her. It's nothing compared to what it will feel like to be by her side.

I live for her these days. I'm becoming a better person because of her and nothing seems worth it anymore unless she's in my life. I never dreamed of being so happy. I prayed all day today just to keep her with me till the end of time.

To know what love is.

It's so weird to finally know what love is. To actually feel my heart skip a beat or to actually feel like I am suffocating. I mean the suffocating part in a good way. 

It's nice to be with someone who feels how I feel wants the same things and loves me even when I'm moody or acting stupid. I'm constantly thinking about the future. I'm constantly waiting for our future. I think I became the happiest I've been my whole life the moment I started dating her and it only gets better every day. She's the reason I wake up in the mornings. 

I'm finally learning what love really is and it's not easy sometimes for me but it's worth it. I'm learning how to fight for something I want for the first time in my life. I may get scared that I will lose her sometimes but I'm still learning. I'm still trying to take a back seat and let love run it's course. It's not easy to be open when you generally are closed but I'm getting to it. In order to love you have to grow up. You have to go through the worst to get to the good.  "You gotta hurt in order to know. Fall in order to grow. Lose in order to gain. Because most of life's lessons are learned in pain."

Throughout this entire journey I have been on with her I've realized that god had the right idea for me all along. God knew what he was doing when he brought her in. It makes me want to cry when I think about where I would be right now if she hadn't came in. God knew I needed saving and I feel like I could never ever be thankful enough for what I ended up with which was the love of a lifetime. 

I think in order to truly love and be yourself you have to find what makes you...you. You have to be you in order to love someone else. IF you aren't you how can you expect someone to love you. To love you for who you are.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

I think I've found myself and love all at once. I'm one lucky girl to have her and I don't want to ever take her for granted.

15 days till I see her. 18 days till 3 months!!

2 Month Anniversary!!

She's the girl that makes my heart skip a beat. She makes it nearly impossible to breathe. Sometimes I feel like all the walls are caving in yet I'm smiling. I never thought I'd be in love after how badly things were for me a year or two ago. I never thought I'd find someone who makes me so happy I cry. I love her so much that I feel like I'd die without her. I can say that and mean it with everything I have.

Before I was so obsessed with love and finding the right person and she came at the wrong time and literally saved me from myself. Through everything I've been put through the last month she's the only thing that I've been certain about. We've gotten through all the challenges together. We've become stronger at times when I felt like we were falling apart. I know I still doubt things from time to time but it's her who makes them go away and puts a smile back on my face.

She has the ability to make me happy and calm me down in the hardest and saddest moments. She puts up with me when I'm pmsing and being a bitch. She lets me know when I'm annoying her and tells me the smallest things. She's my best friend and my girlfriend all in one.

She's the first person I feel like I can actually trust. It's scary and amazing all at once. I feel like I met the perfect person. I feel like she's my forever.

Today is 2 months not counting anything before and I all I want to do is shout to the world how she makes me feel inside. She makes me feel beautiful, strong, funny, and happy. She's my everything.

Her Little Things

I could probably list a thousand things I love about her but I wont. It's the little things though. I do love when she randomly says I love you. How affectionate she gets depending on her mood. Her smile. Her smile could light up the whole world. I love her eyes. She's an instant mood booster to any bad day. Little things like talking on the phone till we get tired. Saying goodnight and I love you on the phone and then through text within 10 mins. When she calls me baby or princess. How she gets me to laugh even when all I want to do is cry. We've motivated each other more these last 43 days then I've motivated myself the last 4 years.

I love all her little things the tiny things she thinks are stupid and annoying to the things she doesn't. She's one of the best things to happen to me and I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

"cause I'm in love with you, and all your little things"